Naked for you in the 512

Anonymous asked: Do you exercise or does dancing alone keep you pretty fit?

I canceled my gym membership as part of my New Years resolution to stop wasting money. I was never going there.

Dancing alone does not keep me fit, particularly when I only get to work a couple of times a week. I spend a good amount of time on my bicycle, and I’ve also been getting into yoga this year. 

Aside from that, I avoid junk food and eating grains in general.

Anonymous asked: What do you think about websites that review clubs and dancers?

I have yet to see an accurate review site.

The people who review clubs on Yelp have their real names attached. This leads to lots of casual customers who understand little about the way strip clubs work being the only ones to post reviews. I don’t think that reading about some random dude or chick bitching about the higher cover charge and $5 7-Up at a nude club (seriously; how do you think the clubs stay in business and keep low enough housefees that girls want to work there?) and how they don’t have to pay for sexual attention so buying dances is obviously gross are actually helping anybody decide where to go. But you know, writing a review of a strip club that shows how cool you are for insulting/bargaining with sex workers will TOTALLY make your friends like you more.

I assume the real strip club connoisseurs don’t want their real names attached to the fact that they know these things, which makes a certain amount of sense, but: 

The actual strip club review sites are mostly cesspools. I know for a fact that some of the reviews on those boards are posted by employees of the clubs, and many of the rest are just creeps comparing notes on how to get the cheapest extras.  

When I was a newbie dancer, I once tried to find a club to work at through these boards, because I was unaware of any other resources to do this. I was scared off from working at a large number of clubs that I later found out would have been just fine for me to work at.

Now, I sometimes check out the boards for a laugh, because I know that not much of what’s described on them is true. One time, I read that I was giving out $50 blowjobs. LOL, as if! I clearly pissed someone off to get that review.

There’s a bar on 6th street here in ATX with a mechanical bull. It is 100% the most rapey place I’ve ever been in my life.

First, I almost punched a dude for touching me on the chest, at the neckline of my shirt where there was a bit of cleavage showing. He reached out and touched my chest without warning or consent as part of some stupid pick up thing and then touched my face. I hadn’t engaged this guy in any way, I was just trying to walk past him to get to the line to ride the bull. I turned and angrily told him not to touch me because I don’t know him, and Dude had the balls to start shit about it! (I still can’t believe I didn’t just punch him in the face. That’s a first for me.) Anyway, I went to a bouncer like the good little stripper I am, and this guy fucking followed me to try and get me kicked out! LOL. Of course, that didn’t work, and the bouncer arranged for my girl Shoshanna and I to get a couple of free drinks to stay. Shithead guy was walking back and forth across the scene the entire time, continuing to try and start trouble with me and acting like he genuinely wanted a fight.

Back at the bar, our friend Lisa was dealing with an even creepier sort of douchecanoe. He bought her a drink, but there was a long moment where she noticed that she couldn’t see the drink between the time the bartender passed it off and when she got it. She wisely insisted he taste it first, “to make sure it tastes good,” and he wouldn’t do it. The whole time the guy was trying to get her to drink this presumably roofied cocktail, Shoshanna and I were watching from our vantage point a couple of yards away as he made every effort to physically block her into the corner, away from the main part of the bar. We didn’t find out about the deal with the drink until later, but I already had my hand on my box cutter by that point.

Shoshanna’s and my vantage point was shared with an older guy from Dallas who bought us drinks that we could see. He was a little too cuddly, too, but at least he seemed to know how the game works with girls 20 years his junior, so it was more like the preliminaries to taking a gentleman to VIP than anything seriously not okay. Or maybe my perspective is skewed as both a stripper and someone who had already seen far too much disturbing shit in this bar. We just wanted to ride the bull, yo!

Finally, we made our way over to the line for the bull. It was a little quieter over there, and Lisa was able to recount the story of the Mr. Roofies, and that was when we decided to gtfo of that bar before anything even worse went down, or I got arrested for cutting a motherfucker.

We were in this bar for under 15 minutes, and dealt with 2-3 potential rapists. And that’s not counting the multitude of guys who tried to actively block us from walking past them, and the fact that the guy who I almost punched also tried to touch Shoshanna the wrong way as she was actually trying to diffuse the situation because she hadn’t seen what happened!

I actually wasn’t drinking, despite the huge amount of free booze that was handed to me here. The original plan was for us to go in, buy Shoshanna a drink, and get her to ride the mechanical bull in her last few hours before heading back to Philadelphia. I drank half of my gin and tonic to be polite to the relatively nice man who bought it for me, but it’s scary to think about what that bar must be like for a girl who is actually intoxicated.

If you’re in Austin or have followers who are, please reblog or otherwise share this story. I don’t know if this is standard behavior for guys in bars on 6th Street, because that isn’t my usual scene, but even moreso if this is normal, I’d like my fellow ATX ladies to be aware that this shit DOES happen, and to stay safe. 

We just wanted to ride the bull!!! 

Read about CISPA here to learn more. Short version: “The Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act just passed in the House, during a vote that was moved up a day and staged during the NFL draft. It vastly expands the already onerous act into one that allows significant domestic surveillance.”

Nasty shit, right? Okay, now use the widget at the bottom of Ben’s page (linked again below) to find your representatives and CALL THEM NOW to tell them not to let it pass the Senate. It calls right from your computer if you click the “call now” button, so have your headphones/mic ready.

http://benwerd.com/blog/2012/04/26/cispa-act-now/